Last Thursday, I applied for a student permit at LTO-Davao. It was my first time to see how drivers actually apply or renew their licenses. The LTO office was maliit and mainit. Ang mga tao nagsisiksikan, nagsisingitan. Idagdag pa ‘yung nakakarinding boses ng matandang babae na nagtatawag ng pangalan using a mic na grabe kung magtalak sa mga tao. Lahat ng tao talaga mainit ang ulo dun, including me ha.

I approached the security guard to ask for an application form. Instead of giving me one, he accompanied me to the second floor where a fixer was waiting. Sabi nya sya daw mag-aasikaso ng student permit ko at magbayad na lang daw ako ng 250 pesos. So syempre natuwa naman ako kasi nga kakapagod pumila sa baba. After ko na-fill up yung form, lumapit naman tong nanay ko at sabi may tao na daw sya nakuha para mag-asikaso ng papeles ko, Rita ang name. Yes, fixer din at mas mahal ang bayad!300 pesos! Haay, as in ang daming fixers dun. ‘Kala mo mga empleyado pero ‘di pala.

So ayun, si Manang Rita sinama ako sa loob ng isang air-conditioned room at pinaupo ako sa harap ng table ng isang employee dun. Nang inabot na ng manang yung papers ko sa lalaki, may iba namang nag-abot ng mga papel at may kasamang 500, may 200, may barya… di ko na nabilang magkano lahat at ilan ang nag-abot… Nagliliparan ang pera dun, my goodness! I can’t believe it, ‘yung lalaki tanggap lang ng tanggap ng pera at nilalagay sa drawer nya habang nagpapa-cute sa akin!?! Tama ba yun?!Putang-Ina ng lalaking ‘yun, tiwali!kurakot! Lahat sila dun! Mga bad people! Go to hell!

Nung chineck ko yung exact amount ng fees na dapat kong bayaran, 128 pesos lng tapos doble ang binayad ko! E akala ko naman ang hirap kuning ng SP, ang dali lang pala. Naloko pa yata ako nung fixer. And what’s worse is that hanggang ngayon wala pa yung SP ko!

Nakwartahan na nga, na-delay pa yung papeles ko. Tama ba naman yan?! Haay, bukas na bukas din mag-aapply ako sa LTO-Davao para mabawi ko ‘yung nagantso sa akin. ‘Di naman siguro masamang kwartahan ko rin ang iba di ba?Mwahahahha. SHiyeeet!

Magiging Presidente ako at babaguhin ko ang maruming sistema ng ating gobyerno! Itaga nyo yan sa marmol!

Lately I’ve been browsing for some Paris Hilton photos ‘coz I am so in the mood of bashing her mannequin face. But instead I found this "proud" couple who’s trying to prove that Love for some reasons is Blind.

Friends, meet Victoria Silvstedt (don’t ask how it’s read) and her beau (unknown).

I actually can’t think of anything to say right now. My every nerve is in shock and is having a malfunction. I just wanna cry!

This woman is actually a Playboy Playmate once so she’s clearly a Hollywood hooker and a gold-digger. I just hope that man owns and lives in Waldorf-Astoria, or maybe stands next to Bill Gates in terms of assets so all her sniffing/kissing/licking of his feet would be worth it.

Model/Actress/Stripper  +  Ugly/Fat/Short/Richie Rich  =  Hollywood

Unfortunately, that is truly how it works.

Seeing them makes me think of Paolo and his ultimate crush, Cindy Kurleto, except that Paolo’s got no dough!MWAHAHAHAH… Peace Pao!Chill! Hope u’r enjoying the blog.

And yeah, also of Corina and Daniel Wu! Oh man, I wanna puke! Sorry girl, this won’t be the last celeb blog I’m posting! *Bwahahaha*

Hello world!

This will be my first celeb slap…

I haven’t seen Toni Braxton in a while so I thought of checking her in some celeb sites. And guess what, I was literally "windstruck" seeing her in these pics:

This is a recent pic of Toni B singing with the Il Divo. Yes, Il Divo, that singing group of five gorgeous fags gathered by Simon Cowell (American Idol fame) from all over the world. Uhuh, they’re fags! So no worries about her getting laid after the concert.

Here, Toni’s not trying to do a Marilyn Monroe pose. She is actually struggling hard to hold her dress in place, and to prevent it from being blown away by a typhoon.

She seems to be wearing a flowing mini dress which is very inappropriate in such a concert venue.

And what’s worse is that she wore thongs underneath!

Now show me that groovy black ass, baby!

See the taunting smiles on the faces of those two fags?! *Mwahaha!*

Well, one could just imagine the faces of the moms of those innocent young audience harassed by this gruesome scene! 

Even perverts won’t take a bite on that! Or will they? What (or why) are they called "perverts" for, right?

Lesson(s) learned:

1- Wear nothing underneath your mini dress; 2- Instead of holding your dress from being blown away, just pretend that you’re a ‘diva stripper’.

It’s been a while since I updated my blog.

I’d like to start a celebrity slapping series on this corner of the web so I could provide entertainment for you, Hollywood fags and dykes…!

We had just commemorated our ‘nth’ Philippine Independence on June 12 so I will try to be a bit nationalistic and will include Filipino celebs in my oh-so-exciting series.

Obviously I had nothing much to do in life right now since i’m jobless, loveless, and penniless. I have debts all over town so I can’t go out of the house, afraid of gunmen shooting my minuscule brain. Okay, pity me, but that won’t pay my bills. But no worries, I’m not whining. I’m bashing instead!

I’m also including those people who constantly bug me for useless stuff. So beware ‘coz you’ll be slapped and smacked any minute now.

Well, to be honest, I’m just trying to see if I can still write straight English. I have been feeling that my journalistic skills have been fading each day. Haaayy… makabuang, drained na tanan akong brain cells bayot!